


Two Steps Back

by klutzy_girl



Category: Go On (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Crying, Friendship, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, One Shot, Past Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-26
Updated: 2013-01-26
Packaged: 2017-11-26 23:49:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/655741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/klutzy_girl/pseuds/klutzy_girl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Ryan's fling with Simone ends, he crashes hard over Janie. The group tries to pick up the pieces.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two Steps Back

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own Go On and never will. No copyright infringement intended.

After Ryan and Simone’s fling ended and she left once again, the guilt - which had started to settle in almost immediately the first time he slept with her – ratcheted up. Ryan tried his best to ignore it at first, but the guilt quickly started to overwhelm him. He went to sleep that night, and upon waking up in the morning, he refused to get out of bed. He called off work, immediately worrying Steven, who then called Lauren to check on him.

Lauren was worried too, but held off on calling the group instead she checked on Ryan first. When he didn’t respond to her repeatedly ringing the doorbell, she got out the extra key he had made for her (and the rest of the group, too, since they didn’t have any boundaries and Ryan figured they should be able to get into his house that way) and unlocked the door. When she didn’t find him downstairs, Lauren headed to his bedroom. She gasped and clapped a hand to her mouth when she found Ryan curled up in a ball under the covers. “Ryan?” 

“Go away. I don’t want to deal with any of the group’s shit right now.” Ryan really did want the group there to help, but admitting it was hard. They had become his best friends in a matter of months, even with all the crazy surrounding them.

“It’s just me. Are you okay?” She knew he wasn’t, but figured she should ask since it was the polite thing to do. She was planning on calling the group as soon as possible to help because Ryan clearly needed them.

“Do I like I’m okay? Just leave me alone.” 

Worried he was sick and just not admitting it, Lauren went over and felt his forehead, ignoring the glare sent her way. He didn’t have a fever so that ruled out any illnesses. She was a little grateful for that, but she hadn’t seen Ryan this upset in a while. She hoped Simone hadn’t caused this backslide in grief, although she had a feeling it had. She knew she should have stopped that fling in its tracks, but Ryan was adamant in his efforts to continue seeing her and trying to get over Janie. Clearly, it had been too soon. “I’m just going downstairs, Ryan. I don’t want you to be alone right now.”

Ryan groaned. “You’re going to call everyone else, aren’t you?” As much as he wanted to see them, he wasn’t up for the enthusiasm that would be heaped on him to get him out of this funk.

She nodded. “Sorry, but you need them.” She rushed downstairs to the kitchen and sent out a mass text to the group to meet her at Ryan’s house. They were all there within fifteen minutes, which should have shocked her but didn’t. 

“I’ll make him lasagna!” Mr. K wanted to help any way he could and he liked to cook for Ryan. 

“Are you just going to make him cereal again and call it lasagna? Because he’s not going to want that.” Anne hadn’t seen Ryan yet, but she knew it had to be bad from the tone of Lauren’s text message.

Mr. K stared at her. “Don’t tell me what he doesn’t like! I’m going to make him the best damn lasagna he ever had!” And then he headed to the cupboard which held the cereal.

Anne rolled her eyes and resisted the urge to smack her forehead. At the very least, maybe it would upset Ryan enough to jar him out of this apparent funk he was in. She was the first to go upstairs, and the rest of the group (minus Mr. K, who was about to start cooking his “lasagna”) followed her. “What are you doing, King?”

“I’m not up to this right now, Anne.” Ryan felt the tears starting to form again and wished them away. He did not want to cry. Hell, he didn’t deserve to cry because of what he did to Janie. She was probably furious with him.

“I should have brought one of my cats over. I’m sure they’d help you!” Sonia frowned and wished she had thought of that sooner. They always cheered her up so they’d probably cheer Ryan up.

“You want to play video games? I’ll kick your ass.” Owen didn’t think they were going to be able to help this time for some reason, but he was determined to try. Ryan had helped him, after all, and he wanted to return the favor.

“No to cats and video games.” Ryan didn’t deserve any fun either, and he wasn’t up to dealing with any cats. All he wanted to do was to wallow in his grief and as much he appreciated them being there, they weren’t letting him.

“Mr. K is making you his cereal lasagna. You want any of that?” Anne was suddenly pissed at Simone for apparently breaking Ryan. Straight sex had broken him and she was not here for that bullshit. Ryan had been doing fine and was starting to heal a little before she had showed up. She knew it was irrational to be angry with Simone – It probably wasn’t her fault he was like this – but she had to blame somebody.

“We should go see a movie or something! I’ll go look up any comedies that are playing!” Yolanda wasn’t going to give up. They had gotten Ryan through this before and they would get him through it again.

Ryan just sighed and pulled the covers up over his head. That didn’t stop them from trying again, and before he could blink, the group was in bed with him. “Of course. Really should have expected that.” He couldn’t believe he was still able to be surprised by them.

“You will soon be comforted by a cat that I know you’ll love. No one can resist cats.” Sonia yawned and was asleep within seconds. They stared at her, but shrugged and went back to trying to help Ryan.

“Why don’t you tell us what’s wrong? I’m sure we can help you through whatever it is that you’re feeling bad about.” Lauren wiggled in to get more comfortable and wished she had more room. It didn’t matter, though, since they probably weren’t going to be in here with Ryan much longer anyway.

“I cheated on Janie. And I know she’s dead, but I slept with another woman. How could I do that to her?” Ryan was happy that he had been able to say those words out loud and couldn’t wait for the group to take him to task. He deserved this.

“Aw, Ryan.” Lauren sniffled and tried not to cry. Of course he would be feeling that way. It wasn’t true, but it was completely understandable why Ryan thought it. 

“King, you didn’t cheat on her. She’d probably want you to move on from what you’ve said about her. You just weren’t ready and you pushed yourself too soon. It happens.” Anne pushed a squawking Sonia out of the way to get closer to Ryan. 

And with the group comforting him, Ryan finally gave in and dissolved into sobs. He wasn’t sure he was going to ever going to get over the fact that he had betrayed Janie like this. Anne awkwardly rubbed his back while Lauren murmured soothingly to him. He even laughed a little when Mr. K bolted into the bedroom and shared his cereal “lasagna” with them. 

Ryan wasn’t okay, but as long as he had the group by his side, he would be able to pick himself back up. He had formed lifelong friendships with them and they had become his family. They were the reason he was able to get out of his bed in the mornings. And the group was always going to be there for him.


End file.
